Thursday, April 15, 2010
Do or do not, there is no try.
I have been ruminating a lot lately on what to do with myself, my life, my career lately. I started writing a personal manifesto recently and though I have only finished it up to 40 items, it is clear to me that I want to do much more with my life, experience much more, live a full and happy life. It is also clear that I don't want to spend my time trying to figure out it anymore. What is it exactly? Well if I pull back the layers, take away the pieces then the only thing in my life that I am dissatisfied with is my career or lack there of. I have realized more and more recently that my personality may not lend itself to just doing one thing for the rest of my life. I don't care about having a career in the traditionally defined sense but I do want something other than my running to do (which would also pay the bills, as running definitely does not). I could see myself having many and more manifestations as a writer, photographer, baker, nutritionist, massage therapist, trainer, cafe owner.
I was reading an article today on The Art of Non-Conformity and the author talks about playing a little game. He writes:
"If time and money were no object, what would I do today?” This is a fun game to play, and it’s even better when you realize that you wouldn’t change much about your plan."
If I ask myself that question on any given day the answer would be: "run, cook, bake, run, run, run, cook, bake". The weekends are my favorite because I spend my time just doing that. I wouldn't change a thing about my plan. I feel free, I feel levity, I feel no stress.
But during the week that is a different story. I have to pay the bills somehow and frankly, I would like to do that in a way that interests me, challenges me and incorporates all of me. I have asked myself time and time again "what must I do?" and now I realize that I have been and am ruled by fear.
Posted by Devon at 5:55 PM