In fact, I know its more than that. Since JFK 50 in November, I have not really been in hard training mode. While my mileage may be good, my specific focus and drive was not in "training mode". I simply followed my bliss, navigated the ebbs and flows in spark and energy. I paced, I explored, I ran for miles and miles. I mostly just tried to enjoy. Now, the tides are changing.
I am back at it. Trying to be at least. Focusing, buckling down, doing the work. It is fun. I am trying to reinvent my routine, or moreover create one in my new space, new home, etc. Not just in running, in life. Routine, transition, these are things I am universally experiencing right now.
Running is simple. Finding a groove and routine is easy on the large scale. But after a period of non-routine, it is harder to get back into it. I am no longer use to getting up at 6am to pound out the early miles. I want to be. I am completely foreign to a gym workout and I have to remind myself that I should consult my training schedule before I head out. I don't need to be rigid, just consistent as I finish out the winter base training and head towards spring races.
In running and in life, I have been doing the work, but if there is one thing I really want to see in the next year in both it is growth. Stop wanting and start doing. I think I am pretty darn good at pursuing goals and objectives, so I need to establish my days in a way that help be successful. I never want to be a slave to routine, but I thrive when I have good boundaries. Most people have boundaries/parameters in the form of office/work hours. When you work from home and are trying to take down a project like writing a book or starting your own business, those boundaries just don't exist. I am sure I could spend an entire day finding things to do that aren't the real stuff I want to get accomplished. That either means I don't really deep down want those things or I need to find a set of boundaries that don't give me an opt out option. I am figuring out a way to do that. Even if it just means declaring to myself that EVERY (week) DAY from 2-4pm I will write and from 4-6pm I will run and go to the gym, than so be it (for example).
I am super keen to see how this year starts to shake out. I know as I go deeper into my running training, that other parts of my routine will also shake themselves out. Like most things in my life right now, even uncertainty and the opportunity to pursue insight that offers, makes me happy and excited. I am looking at even the biggest mountains ahead of me and licking my lips, saying, I am going to find a way to get to the top of that hill. To even say that is to acknowledge a transition. A transition away from a time (maybe even years) that was imbibed with much more struggle, feeling like I was searching around in the dark, searching for a place I belong. I have moved beyond that now. Phew. That was exhausting. Now I turn my sights to climb every mountain that comes before me and see where the road will take me. So whether or not lil old phil says so or not, the thaw has begun in me and I am looking forward to breaking out!