I have been in Hawaii now for a week and a half. I feel like I disconnected from reality on the mainland and never looked back.
I have traveled a lot in my life. Been all over the world and I think this is the first trip, first time I have truly left behind everything: worries, stresses, routine, etc. And not just bad things, good things too. I simply have not thought about life, as it exists outside of these two weeks. I have never felt that way before. I am not necessarily having a more exciting or better trip than other vacations I have been on, I am simply the most present in what I am doing, which is in fact, a whole lot of nothing.
I have traveled many places in the world that I immediately have taken to, wanted to take up residence in and never leave. Surprisingly, this is not one of those places. It's beautiful, it's warm, it's relaxing. But I love my life back home, though I don't really miss it either.
It is a funny head space, good funny, but still funny. Right now my biggest decisions are which direction from home I will run in the morning, which beach will be sit on for a few hours and what flavor of coconut bliss do we want to eat for dessert. I am trying to remember what it's like to tackle my to do list, train like I mean it, organize house and home, work, etc. I have so disconnected myself and now, with only a few waning moments left I am trying to transition back, reconnect, reignite the passion and motivation. I haven't been writing while here, not on my blogs, not even in my journal. I haven't been twittering really, facebooking sparingly and have only vague inklings of the goings on in the world. I am present in my own little world, but not the world at large.
It has been amazing coming here to crew/pace for an very fun and brutal 100 mile race, but I think that there was no better decision than to spend a week AFTER the race existing in the space I just described. It would be awesome if I lived in a reality where I could show up the Thursday before a race, race and then hang out somewhere beautiful and relaxing like this for every race, but even in my vacation bubble I have no thoughts that it can be. It's nice though, I have enjoyed it and will continue to for the next couple of days. But in the coming days, I will contemplate one thing: what are the pieces I want to bring back with me? And how can I make that a reality?