Monday, November 30, 2009

Living Life


Just over 2 weeks ago, but feels like over two lifetimes ago. 
Photo by Brett Rivers

I can't believe that the past 10 days has only been 10 days. It's been a crazy whirlwind that feels like a month of living, jam packed into no time at all. I haven't been thinking about writing blogs, tweets or facebook except in the moments in between when I needed to kill a few moments. I am happy I had a bit of time to kill last Sunday on my very very very very early morning flight home (I got up at midnight west coast time, like 4 hrs after going to bed & 13 hrs after finishing JFK) so at least I could get my JFK Race Report written and posted (thanks Virgin Air & Google with your free wifi!). After that, the living of life and enjoyment of it has just gotten in the way. A big race, flying back and forth across the country, cooking and enjoying Thanksgiving and numerous other meals, recovery running, Quad Dipsea cheering, apartment hunting and finding, Sound of Music sing along and Monday morning Chicken and Waffles at Little Skillet. And that's a cursory glance. It's been awesome.

In this quiet moment, before I run off to do the next thing, I stop and ponder myself as a writer. I haven't been even thinking about my self-prescribed blog schedule. I have not further unfolded my Fast Foodie blog as I had thought I would many months ago. And its not for lack of a foodie life. If anything, my life as a foodie has intensified and expanded infinitely since the Baker and I started, um...holding hands.....roll your eyes, whatever. (Except for the inclusion of individuals prescence in my life on my blog, my personal life will remain, well personal). But as I was saying, we've been throwning down some amazing meals in the kitchen, knocking things off lists (both 7x7 100 list and our own list) and I've just generally been more geeked out on food (and life) than ever before. But the inclination to capture it in tweet, blog, photo or writing has been much of an after thought. And that makes me ponder.

After the Sound of Music sing along yesterday, I walked past a yarn shop called Imagiknit. It is a yarn shop I use to frequent when I took up knitting for a time. I took up knitting with an intense passion, spending pretty much every evening after work, running and cooking, knitting up scarf after scarf after scarf. I threw myself into it like I do with most passions/hobbies of mine, with reckless abandon, without moderation. But soon, I couldn't hold it all on my plate. When you do things that intensely, you start to run out of room. I probably (and have) could live a 5am-10pm life filled with nothing but running, eating, working, running and eating (like I did in Atlanta). As I pondered my lack of knitting, I wondered if writing, blogging, etc is like knitting in my life or like running. Knitting, I can live without, do without and while I enjoy intensely, I could easily live my life without ever knitting again. Running, I would not willingly give up, I love and care too much about it. Sure I can take days off, but it is a part of my life that just IS. It is not a question.

And what is writing to me? Is it knitting or running? Is it merely a trifle to fill space in the quiet moments of life or is it something, that like my running, will continue to grow and develop on an exponential curve over the next few years? I want to be caught up in my life, every footstep, delicious bite, or list worthy adventure. Not only do I want to be, but I AM, I am just out here living my life. It is a glorious thing. And part of really embracing that, embracing your "real life" and not the shadows on the wall, is accepting the ebbs and flows. It is accepting that sometimes you are in peak training and pounding out 140 miles per week and sometimes you are in recovery and eating your weight in waffles and barely running at all and accepting that they are both a productive part of the pursuit. I am seeing that with my writing. I have goals, I have ideas and I have a passion and sometimes I am knocking out 5 blogs a week, producing pages and pages of original recipes and restaurant reviews and commenting on all the vast offerings in the blogsphere and hunting down my goals like a hound after a fox and sometimes I can't even imagine pausing life to report on it.

Deep down, I know I am a writer. Deep down this post is an exact reflection of what this blog is all about: THE JOURNEY. It is cool to note, it is cool to watch. I don't really have any doubts about my desires, goals and passions when it comes to writing as this post might suggest. This is more like the squiggly line of road through the mountains. Part of this whole process and journey and pursuit of my goals is continually learning and growing and living at the same time. One of the cool things I am learning is how to let go of absolute definitions. As this post would suggest, I am prone to trying to absolutely self-define. Which is ridiculous! Silly me! Silly me. But it is very fascinating to watch the thought process and note it and let it go. I am what I am and I will be what I will be. I will continue to watch and witness and write and record the journey as it unfolds. I am loving and living life and it feels good. And I am glad I am putting that in writing, I want to remember this and every moment.

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