Wednesday, September 30, 2009

New York State of Mind- a quickie

I am in NYC, trying to recover from my race at Vermont 50 miler to get ready for Tussey 50 miler in a few days. Being in a city like NYC reminds me how much I do love the city. Having an experience like this past weekend where I can play in the mountains and then return to the city in the same day is something I absolutely love. It made me further contemplate my own "where abouts", as did winning a spot in WS. I have made a decision. I am not moving to Boulder right now. I was going to, I was on my way Oct 20 (though I hadn't told many people), but I knew all along that this was a rush decision. And I knew all along it wasn't addressing the underlying problems/issues. The winter put me off too. I want to run all winter. Not run on a treadmill. Not take up new winter sports because I simply can't run in the snow. Not move to a new place just to do it.  No, I am staying put. Maybe later on I will move on, but not now. There are tons of great reasons to stay in SF, especially in the situation I have and no really good reasons not to. I do love it there and I have left or runaway for entirely interpersonal reasons before. And now, I am going to stay for deeper, better reasons than that. There are sacrifices I make in the staying, extra work I have to undertake and things I need to do in order for my life there to be successful, but if this blog is any indication of my commitment to those things, than I think I am on track. I am not moving my stuff out of Seattle storage yet. But I am excited to at least, start filling my pantry, let my suitcases gather a little dust and just be for a while.

I think what is nice about this decision is that, even if SF ultimately turns out to be the entirely wrong place for me in the long run, the decision itself to stay changes my life and outlook entirely. I can stop feeling homeless, I can start feeling and making myself rooted. I can unpause a part of my life that has been paused for over a year. I can forge deeper bonds, I can open myself up to attachments, I can actively explore the City which I really haven't even begun to. And the trails, oh the trails, are mine to run all winter long.

Speaking of the unexplored city, my sister sent me a link to this article from 7x7 called "100 things to try before you die" (in SF). And after reviewing the list, it is game on when I get home. And I think it is a cool idea to follow my attempt at completing the list on my food blog.

It's all a new adventure. It's all part of the journey. There was a fork in the road and I took it. Now, it's time to see where it goes.

2 comments:

  1. Whoa. I was going to email you my own unrequested advice and say staying in SF might be a good start, based on what you posted about. I just thought of one of our first glorious runs at Cougar when you were telling me about the community kitchen...DO IT! (well, if you want) But you do need to visit the Methow. Soon. xoxo

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  2. You are my kindred spirit Alison :) I am excited to stay and really dig in. I will definitely come visit the Methow soon. If I am not going to be learning to XC ski in Boulder, I need to learn in the Methow! And you should come visit too!

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